Joy Held's Writer Wellness

"Be well, write well."

Jokes Only Writers Can Love

on February 2, 2018

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Jokes Only Writers Can Love

Some days it’s funnier to be a writer than others. And writers are famous for thinking something is funny when other people don’t see the humor. For instance, we get a giggle out of misspelled words on business signs. We think running out of ink while printing off a query letter is paramount to disaster, and we think the telephone is a torture device meant to keep us from ever having a thought without interruption. And psychoanalyst is another word for the jealous critique partner. So on those days, it’s convenient to have a writerly joke to lighten the mood.

***

Three guys are sitting at a bar-

Guy#1 “Yeah, I make about $75,000.00 a year after taxes.”

Guy#2 “What do you do for a living?”

#1 “I’m a stockbroker. How much do you make?”

#2 “I should clear $60,000.00 this year.”

#1 “What do you do?”

#2 “I’m an architect.”

They turn to the third guy sitting quietly, staring into his beer.

#2 “Hey, how much do you make a year?”

#3 “Gee, ummm, I guess about $13,000.00.”

#1 “Oh, yeah? What kind of stories do you write?”

^^^^^^

A screenwriter comes home to find his house burned to the ground and his wife in the yard sobbing.

“What happened, honey?” the man asked.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she said while crying.”I was cooking and the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out. Poor Fluffy is…”

“Wait. Wait. Back up a minute,” the screenwriter says. “My agent called?”

######

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row on row of writers chained to their desks working in a steamy sweatshop while being whipped with thorny lashes.

“Oh, my,” said the writer. “Let’s see heaven now.”

In heaven she saw row on row of writers chained to their desks working in a steamy sweatshop while being whipped with thorny lashes.

“Wait a minute,” she said. “This is as bad as hell.”

“Oh, no it’s not,” said a booming voice. “Here your work gets published.”

*****

How many romance writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one: “He grasped the round, cool shape of the tantalizing bulb between his fingers and squeezed ever so gently then expertly guided the tip into the waiting socket. He felt the connection and slowly began a mind-blowing twist of the bulb until it settled into the perfect place. And they both knew the satisfaction of ……

Well, you get the idea.

~~~~~

Personally, my idea of Hell is being someplace without paper and something to write with or having both and my hands are tied!

Have a writer giggle to share that’s suitable for mixed genres and ages?

Be well, write well.

~hugs,

Joy

JoyHeldHeadshot3

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Relaxation/meditation, creative play, fitness and exercise, journaling, and nutrition.

Joy E. Held is the author of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity, a college educator, blogger, and yoga/meditation teacher. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including Romance Writers Report, Dance Teacher Now, Yoga Journal, and Woman Engineer Magazine.

Photo: K. Held

Photo by Riley McCullough on Unsplash

Copyright 2018, Joy E. Held


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